Now I'm going to apologize up front because I ABSOLUTELY don't want to offend anyone.
Sex and sexual fantasies are very personal topics and I firmly believe that the things that turn us on don't necessarily correlate to who we are to the everyday world. Sex is primal, instinctual, and who we are during sex isn't the same as who we are when we are at work, or taking care of our kids or whatever.
That being said, I don't think of myself as much of a prude, but I realized the other day that from a fanfic perspecive, it's taken me a long time to get adventurous. *waggles eyebrows*
I'm pretty much a canon shipper lover. I love me some Bella/Edward, Jasper/Alice even Emmett/Rose lemons. I'm heterosexual in RL and it never really occurred to me to go seeking out any other orientation when I first found out about fanfiction.BUT!
As you know, my adorable, fabulous, lemony soul sister often likes to make recommendations to me and one in particular got me hot and bothered. And not just because of the lemons. She sent me a snippet from The Trip Home by mskathy. It's a Edward/Bella/Jasper polyamorous fic. And I'll tell the truth right here, if she had sent it to me as a link instead of the direct text I probably wouldn't have read it (sorry, UYP!).
It's just I
don't think of three-ways as my bag. But believe me when I tell you that, while it may not be my personal bag, this shit is HOT! Super-nova, forget-even-wearing-panties-because-you'll-just-have-to-keep-changing-them hot! I was astonished by how turned-on I was by this story.
So I started to have a crisis of faith. I know I'm not gay, let alone a gay man. I'm all up in Mr. Foxy's stuff and I have breasts (therefore I am woman, hear me roar) and he's definitely a manly man (chest hair and all, Rarrrrrr!!!!), but I wondered if it said something about me that I was into things I clearly wouldn't (or physically couldn't) participate in.
Of course, I wondered this for all of two seconds before reality set back in.
Duh, Foxy! It's about FANTASY. HELLO!!!!!!!!!!
I happen to know that a ton of my bloggy/twitter girls are into Mason from DirtyNelly's Buried Among the Begonias and I'm not getting the I-like-to-be-water-boarded-for-kicks vibe off of them. Although you never can tell....but we'll save that for another post. *wink*
Still need convincing? Yeah, me too. So I went online and did a little research about women and pornography (it's the nerd in me, she'll never die!). And I found a fantastic article on cnn.com that was written for Oprah.com. In it they cite a 2004 study done by Northwestern University that found:
[When] the researchers showed gay, lesbian, and straight porn to heterosexual and homosexual women and men, they found that while the men responded more intensely to porn that mirrored their particular gender orientation, the women tended to like it all. Or at least their bodies did.That's right. Men were tied down to their actual sexual proclivities but women were up for anything! So what gives? Why couldn't I just let it all go and be happy that nature was encouraging me to be an equal-opportunity porn reader?
Well, the nervous me inside my head whined, what if my friends found out I liked lesbian and gay pornography?
OK....what if they did? First of all, we'd already be WAY past the TMI line at that point, so really, pull up your big girl pants and say, "This is me. Love me or piss off!" Secondly, how do I know THEY don't dig to gorgeous girls or super delicious guys getting it on? That's the thing about fantasies. They're in your head.
Anyway, what I'm getting at is if you're like me, and had been getting into a rather vanilla rut, SHAKE IT UP! Try out a little slash. Because the only thing hotter than one smoking hot Twilight guy is two!
Or try out some femme-slash. You know we all have a wicked girl crush on Ashley, I mean Alice. Take that for a whirl and see if it doesn't kick the temperature in your pants up a notch.
Not into Alice? I read a FANTASTIC femme-slash one-shot about Jessica and Lauren of all characters in the LftU contest. It's called Damned If You Do by Kristen Nicole and not only is it hot as hell it makes a convincing case for why Lauren is always such a biotch! I actually liked her version of Lauren. Take that for what it's worth.
Whatever you choose, just remember: no judgment, only pleasure.
And happy reading!
14 comments:
Great post Mrs. Foxy. You ready for some of my rambling? I'm sick so you get it whether you'd like it or not. *chuckles*
hmmm...
I must admit I find all of this (the fandom going gaga over slashfics) fascinating. I know what I "come off" as so it's easy to think that when I say I am not interested in lemons or slash fics that I am some sort of sheltered wallflower *shrugs*. Or that I am completely vanilla. Again *shrugs*. Oh well.
And the reasons I love BAtB are not for the crazy sadistic Masen solely, I actually love Edward the mostest (of course I'm three chapters behind so who knows where that poor boy is now... =( ). But BAtB is real to me. Something I can't fully explain without getting into personal details.
The same can be applied to my fascination with this whole slash fic phenomena. Again, maybe due to my past and the fact that all these sexual avenues have either been explored or "looked into" I am unaffected or just not caught up in all the sensation.
And I must admit, I can't remember where I read it, but someone said they felt that slash fic would surprise people because they felt it was like reading two girls having sex... um...huh? I've had homosexual male friends and let me just say that doesn't fit the bill for me. And personal? I'm not interested in two dudes pistoning on one another. And if they were very feminine in their love making I don't know that I could take it seriously. We females tend to write males as we assume they think and behave or how we want them to. Just as men (like Steinbeck) write women poorly. Thus Edward Cullen is very nearly every girl's dream and Jacob Black is the perfect friend for us to feel badly for.
Please know, I do NOT judge. It's just not my cup of tea, I know because I KNOW. *wink wink*
And I just wonder why? Is it because people have never been "exposed" to more "dangerous" "chocolate" type sex? Is it exciting to read something that might be frowned upon by our friends in the "real" world? Does it give us some sort of high? Is it mainly just a "group thing?" Is the fascination with dude on dude action lately due to it being edgy? Or truly do you enjoy reading it?
Cutie! Thanks for the response and you ask some great questions.
I'm not entirely sure why the "chocolate" sex is more titillating. Forbidden fruit usually is though.
I didn't realize that slash was the "in thing" in fanfic-dom, so I'm not in a position to offer an opinion one way or the other on that. I don't think of myself as such a sheep that I would be turned on by something because someone else says it's hot, though. It's got to work for me on some level. Even if I don't fully understand why.
For me, anything written well enough so I'm visualizing what's going on seems to be the trick. Perhaps it's just something about imagining two (or three) extremely good looking people having a hot sexy time that IS sexy. I can't say, but yeah, I did enjoy the two slash stories I read for the LftU contest. I thought they were good and hot.
That's just me. :)
Such a great, brave post!
I'm going to throw this out there, just cause I'm all anonymous (well, sorta) and can. Before I read fanfiction, I read erotica. Yep. For YEARS! And the best stuff for me was always femmeslash. Am I straight? Yes I am. However, I think most of us can fall somewhere on a scale from 0 - totally hetero to 10- totally homo. It's not all black or white to some, there is a huge wide range of gray.
There was a part of me wondering why I, ahem, respond more to girl/girl stuff. Mainly because it's written by a female, it deals with accurate anatomy and pleasure zones, has the right amount of emotion in it and not fluffy. Straight erotica i found (and i'm no expert) was too fluffy, too fetishy, or too male dominated (ie "Then I came all over her and left her wanting more." Well eff you dude - that's not good for me!)
So as far as the Twilight slash/femmeslash thing I feel the same way. The femmeslash I read I love because of the characters first, then sexytimes. Slash is the same. I must admit I haven't read much of any slash or poly stuff until I stumbled upon The Trip Home. I dont' follow any other stories (yet) that have slash pairings.... but the O/S i have read have all been great!
To touch on the fantasy part too - I have no problem reading BDSM or poly couples etc - it's fantasy - it's fun! Would I do it in real life - currently no. In the future, probably not. But it's fun to imagine right? And since the brain is the #1 sexual organ, that's all there is to it.
That's a whole lot of blathering, but hopefully you caught my train of thought.
Cutie - thanks for posting on this hot topic!! I heard about the whole sensationalism of slash/femmeslash and trying to shock audiences, etc... However, so far I haven't read anything from someone who only wrote it to shock or try to get new readers, etc.... And I have yet to run into something where slash is like 2 girls....weird. I hadn't heard that before!
Also - I am pretty darn vanilla myself and I think that's ok.
Thanks again Foxy for a great post!!!
If I hadn't said it before, I'd say it now, "I adore you!" Thanks for giving your two cents, since you are, in effect, my gateway into the slash/femmeslash genre. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart. :)
I can't believe I didn't comment on the pictures!!! Holy shit!!! Those are amazing!!!!
PS - love you too!
*Whew* That was a lot to cover! I had so much I wanted to say, but it was so random that I had to step away and now I'm back to try again :)
Mrs Fox, I agree with most everything you had to say about fantasy vs. real life and especially about the brain. If my brain isn't feeling it, then there are no tingling body parts. I have to have a story where the characters connect. That connection makes or breaks a good story lemon.
I truly believe that reading erotic stories and our loverly "M" rated Twilight fanfics are a way to experience something different. In a rut or bored? Read something different. Reading and doing research (yup, I'm a nerd too!) is the safest way to get to know yourself. Like it? Find more. Hate it? Stop reading it. Not sure? Give it a shot! Only you can decide where to go or not go from there, even if it only stays in your head and/or on your computer screen.
To uhyesplease, I love the sliding scale to rate sexual orientation. Everything is NOT black and white. I was recently told that I am a Gray Area and my reaction *thinking* "Huh, I guess you're right." That is something most people in my RL don't know. So in that sense, I guess it is an avenue of release too.
Femmeslash is what I would read before Twilight took over, and still, they intertwine sometimes. I tried to read slash and it just did NOT work for me. I have read the polyamorous and that can work as long as there's no slash going on also (femme still ok). Going through all that in my head, I figured out what it is about these stories and it is just one word. ME!
Here's a senario: Four people- 1. A gay woman, 2. A straight woman, 3. A straight man , 4. A gay man. 1 would turn me on b/c she could want me. 2 would turn me on b/c I can imagine being her. 3 would turn me on b/c he could want me. 4 would NOT turn me on b/c he's too busy staring at the camera man behind me and would not want anything to do with me. Me, me, me! See the pattern? I think that's why these stories work.
Femmeslash is easier to read, I believe, b/c they ARE usually written by women, for women, about women. Yes, I agree with that! They know what buttons to push, some are more specific, some general. The Submissive, The Dominant and The Training deal with a speicific lifestyle. BAtB is totally out in left field, but I love it b/c there is such a love, twisted as it may be sometimes, between the characters. What? They are all written by a woman?! Huh! While men's stories work for men, b/c well, they are MEN, they typically don't work for us. (OH! And @ UYP, I'd say "eff you dude" too!) In the end, it comes down to Venus vs Mars.
Anyway, I don't know if I actually made a point in there, but I whole-heartedly believe in and live my life by "to each their own."
ps. very, VERY sexy pics!
SBGDGT, thanks for the thoughtful comment! I agree with your point about needing to be able to identify with the story and how difficult it is with slash. And I'm 100% in agreement with you "to each their own" policy.
Glad you liked the pics. :)
GAH!!! Awesome post! I was a little worried about reading The Trip Home too but once I started, I couldn't stop. Mr. NSS knows about the fanfic I read and constantly pesters and inquires when I'm going to bring a girlfriend home. I try to explain the fact that it's FICTION and yeah it's hot to read but I'll stick with my hot beef injections. Of course, being a silly boy that doesn't listen, just shakes his head and says not if, but when I bring a girl home, he wants to watch. *palms face*
LOL, STY! Boys are just so silly! Glad you enjoyed the post!
Cutie brings up a great point. I think the reason I love all these different fantasies is because I have never done anything close to them ever in my goody-goody life. I am starting to think I have really missed out on some things. So I am into all fanfic whether it is straight, girl/girl or guy/guy because it is all so different for me. It has made me realize that my real sex life is REALLY lacking. That being said I am getting a little more adventurous. A couple weeks ago a group of us went out with a friend to celebrate his 40th and we ended up going to a strip club (the female kind) at the end of the night. I had never been to one before and did not know what to expect. At this point in the evening I was quite drunk and inhibitions were down. My husband and I actually went in the back room for a private show and I really fucking loved it. I had never done anything like this before and was pleasantly suprised.
And this is why I love my Twitter and Bloggy friends because these are things I would not share with most of my RL friends. You guys are awesome!
bierbeck - I agree that a part of the thrill of slash/femmeslash is getting a view into a "forbidden" world. Plus, it's uber safe: no one's watching or judging you when you're reading, but it can be more intimidating to venture out in RL.
Major kudos to you for spicing it up with the DH at the strip club. Way to own it. I bet your hubs was SUPER turned on by being in that back room with two sexy ladies. :)
One more thing to add. I hope this comes out as clear here as it is in my head. I've had a couple of homemade cough remedies, of which one ingredient is whiskey, but NO COUGH! ;)
Ok, I think a lot of this comes down to sensuality rather than sexuality. Women are nurturing, empathetic, loving creatures. In our society it is ok for one woman to look at another and say she is beautiful. Men, can slap each other's asses and compare sizes in the locker room showers, but when it comes down to it, they are not "allowed" to appreciate beauty in another man. Well, very few do anyway. Of all my guy friends, only two will admit to that and one is gay and the other is extreemely good looking himself. (I guess that makes it ok?)
Anyway, it is the sensuality that appeals to most women, and causes our bodies to react, not our sexuality. Oh, how I LOVE being a Woman!!
SBGDGT, good point on sensuality as opposed to sexuality.
It is interesting that from society's point of view it's ok for women to appreciate the beauty of another woman but less so for two men. I would say, however, part of it also has to do with the fact that two women together is a common male fantasy (often with them *wink*) but less common is the fantasy of two men together. I wonder if it were as socially acceptable for men to experiment with homosexuality would that imagery be considered sensual as well?
Anyway, thanks for coming back with more thoughts. :)
I am LOVING this conversation!
bierbeck- Wow girl! Good for you! I'm also in the same boat, realizing that I've been pretty darn vanilla in my sex life. Which isn't a bad thing, per se, but actually learning and realizing that my preconceptions about a lot of these fanfic topics (BDSM, polyamory, femme/slash, etc) were total MISconceptions that it's completely overhauled the bedroom in the UYP household! And yep the hubby is more than happy to come along for the ride! And wow, that was a really long sentence. How fun to go to a strip club and just 'let loose' a bit! I agree with Foxy - I bet your husband loved it just as much as you did!!! Ok, probably more, cuz guys love that fantasy!
SBGDGT - I can totally see that! What a great statement!
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