The Peach Grove:Sold, Sight Unseen

Happy Friday, dear reader!!! As you read this I'm scurrying all over my house, as only a pushy little fox can, furiously cleaning for the arrival of my lemon sister. That's right, in only a few short hours, uhyesplease will be standing here, in the very living room where I write my posts. I'm so very excited!!!!!

BUT, that's not what I want to talk to you about today, dear reader. Nope, today, I want to tell you about a little story I found. It's called Sold, Sight Unseen and it's by quothme. This story was so compelling, I read it in a few short hours, even though it's 10 chapters long. I actually stumbled upon it because quothme is the beta for Monday's MmmmmmMonday pick, Put A Ring On It by WhatsMyNomDePlume.

WMNDP gives a shout out to her beta in her author note and I love betas, my own in particular, because I have a great affection for anyone who donates their time and navigates the murky waters of helping someone they've almost never met in RL polish their work. Not an easy task and generally under appreciated by fandom at large. So, whenever an author gives a shout out to their beta, I like to check said beta out. Boy am I happy I did!!!

The first thing I noticed on her author page was that she writes a story, Type O Negative, that I have heard bantered about in fandom but haven't got a chance to read. Then I noticed she had a link to B'Ellanna in a bikini in reference to her story, Sold, Sight Unseen.

As soon as I saw this picture, the Star Trek geek in me DEMANDED that I read this fic. I just had to find out how B'Elanna Torres, one of my favorite Star Trek: Voyager characters (and yes, I realize I'm admitting to not only being a Trekkie, but enough of one to have favorite characters on one of the more obscure spin offs), wound up in a fanfic about Twilight.

I could not be happier that I did! This story is witty and engaging and pulled me in immediately! The premise is so beguilingly simple: Edward, on a whim, dials a random number; a number that happens to belong Bella. They talk. A friendly phone relationship ensues. And the next thing I know, I'm head over heels in love with these characters and their lives are moving inexorably toward one another and it's all over the phone!!!!

So let me show you just how sexy, funny and great this T rated fix is (note this section is from Chapter 5):

I say, "So how does this whole thing work?"

"Would you believe me if I told you I've never given a virtual foot massage before?"

"I would. I haven't received one before, either."

"Then we're in uncharted territory here."

In more ways than one.

We're quiet.

I remain standing awkwardly in the deserted stairwell.

"Okay," Edward says, expelling a breath.

This is it.

He's taking the reins.

"I need you to sit down on the stairs and get comfortable."

"Okay," I say, and do just that. Thankfully, I'm wearing slacks today and not one of my pencil skirts. "I'm sitting and am comfortable."

I notice that he doesn't ask what I'm wearing, and I think I can understand why.

"Take off your right shoe."

I unbuckle my pump and slip out of it. Already, my foot feels better.

"No socks?"

"No."

Edward's breath hitches.

"Okay," he says. "If I were there right now, I would pull your foot into my lap. I would start by massaging the balls of your foot with my thumbs. Can you do that?"

"Yes." As I use my own thumbs to massage the balls of my foot, I imagine my thumbs are his.

My breath hitches.

"Then I would rub my thumb along the underside of your arch, applying just enough pressure for you to feel it."

My thumb does exactly as he says.

"Now I grip your heel and gently squeeze."

I gasp.

"Then I rub small circles around your ankle," he says.

"Up your ankles higher," he says.

"And up the backs of your calves, just so they don't feel left out."

Some of my other body parts are feeling very, very left out. Oddly, the thought of someone happening to wander into the stairwell makes this all the more arousing.

"Now back to your feet, to your five little toes."

Is it weird that I love the sound of him talking about my little toes?

"I pull apart each toe, checking to make sure that each one is not bruised, pulling gently on each one, until I get to the pinky toe."

Edward's voice is very, very low.

"And then I would…um…kiss the pinky toe."

I stifle a moan.

"Then I press your whole foot in between my two hands, pressing and rotating slightly to make sure everything is loose.

"I put your foot back down against the cool of the stairs."

My skin is fire; the concrete of the stairs is ice.

We sit for a second.

Then he says, "And we start on the next one."

Dear Lord.

The cycle repeats.

When he's finished, when both of my feet have been thoroughly touched, each pinky toe kissed, and each foot laid gently back on the concrete, we sit still.

We're quiet.

My body is heavy, is fairly flowing down the stairs.

"Edward?" I'm breathing a little too hard.

"Yeah." He's breathing a little too hard.

"That was the best foot massage I've ever received."

He's quiet.

"Thank you," I say because there's nothing else I can say.

"You're very welcome."

I think, just for one second, that he's about to say something else.

He says, "I hope you have a good rest of the day."

That's not what I thought he was going to say.

We hang up without saying goodbye.

Photo respectfully borrowed from 1000 Awesome Things

Now some of you may be sitting there saying, "Seriously? Virtual foot massage?" But for me, what was so erotic about this scene was not the body part being touched (although I still say a good foot massage is a great bit of foreplay), but about the intimacy of the moment. And how this moment brings Edward and Bella's relationship to a totally different, completely physical level.

So please, go check this sweet little story out. You won't be disappointed! And if you love her writing as much as I do, check out her other completed T rated story, Type O Negative and her WIP M rated story, Awake In The Infinite Cold.

Enjoy!!!

MmmmmmMonday - Put A Ring On It

Some weeks my MmmmmMonday posts are easy. This week was not one of those weeks. I ran searches, I went through favorites, I came dangerously close to begging uhyesplease to let me punk out because nothing was juuuuuusssssttttt right.

That was until I found THE ONE. You know how you feel when you find the one. You laugh. Your heart beats a little faster. You lean closer to the laptop screen in disbelieving wonder as you read something so lovely, so sexy, so perfect that you know from your head to your toes that you've found a little slice of heaven. And today's selection will give you all of that and more.

My pick for today's MmmmmMonday post is Put A Ring On It by WhatsMyNomDePlume. Written for the "Will You Marry Me?" contest held by the TwiGirls Next Door, this story is the tale of a doggedly persistent Edward who just can't get Bella to say, "Yes." The premise is sweet and funny but it's the writing that makes this story shine. The descriptions make the scenes come alive. The dialog, both spoken and inner, sparkles with wit. And sweet Jesus, even the grammar Nazi won't be able to find a single comma out of place on this baby. It's ABSOLUTELY perfect.

Want proof? Check these bad boys out:

Yeah, that's right! This story won both 3rd place in the poll voting AND judges choice by two of the three judges! Because this story ROCKS!

But seeing is believing, so let me give you a little taste of how much there is for you to love:

The next day, I was sitting at a bar with our friends, Alice and Jasper, when Edward strolled in, a small carrier bag in his hand. Alice, wise to the world, immediately started squealing.

"Oh my god, Edward! What did you get?" Her tiny little voice was as excited as she was, bouncing slightly in her seat.

"Oh, just something that Bella and I talked about yesterday," Edward said. His tone was smooth and slick but I was too busy getting him a Black-and-Coke, his standard bar drink, to notice. The next few words, however, caught my attention.

"What did you and Bella talk about that comes from Tiffany's?" Jasper's low drawl beat Alice to her next question and I looked away from signaling the waitress.

"Yeah, Edward, what did we talk about that… oh no. No. Edward. No, no. No, we talked about this, no," I said, knowing exactly what that cocky, knowing smile on his face was.

"Really Bella? Six no's?" he said, pulling a small blue box out of the matching bag. Alice gasped and Jasper took an audible gulp of his drink.

"I can say 'no' more times if it will get through your stubborn head," I hissed.

"Oh no, Bella. I asked you a question yesterday and I want an answer," he said. With a confident nod, he popped open the box to reveal a beautiful round, brilliant cut diamond ring.

"Oh my god! That's the Jean Schlumberg bud ring with pavé inlay!" Alice exclaimed. All three of us took a moment to stare at her, but her eyes were locked on the ring, unaware of our bewilderment as to how she knew exactly what ring Edward had gotten. "Bella, are you marrying Edward? That's so romantic! Especially since you guys have only been dating—"

"Alice, no," I interrupted her. "Edward's being a jackass. He made a joke about marrying me yesterday and I called him out on it. He kept on insisting that he meant it even though I told him I didn't care and then kept on asking me, even though I said no, and now he's just irritating me."

"First, the whole point of asking you is to show you that I wasn't joking. Hence the fact that I went out and bought a ring! I'd marry you, Bella. I wasn't just making a passing joke," Edward insisted.

"Edward, we haven't even been dating a month. I don't even know when your birthday is!" I exclaimed. I was beginning to get frustrated. Part of me was amused by this whole charade, but part of me wanted him to stop joking about it. Even three weeks in, I was feeling like I wanted everything with him—and I didn't want him to treat marriage as a joke. When it came up, in proper time, I wanted it to be serious. I wanted it to be real.

"My birthday is June 13th. Bella, will you marry me?" Edward asked. He had a wide smile on his face, and Alice and Jasper were looking between the two of us like there had actually been a real question posed.

"No, Edward," I said and walked out of the bar. I walked all the way home, with Edward a few meters behind me. As soon as we entered my apartment, I rounded on him. "What the hell, Edward? Can you stop joking about marrying me?"

"I would, but I never started. Marry me, Bella," he said. His face was honest and earnest but I couldn't stand it.

"Stop saying that!" I yelled. Edward's eyebrows lifted, but he simply shook his head. As he would prove so many times in our relationship, he was far better at keeping his temper than I was.

"Not until you take me seriously," he replied calmly.

"Fine. I am taking you seriously. And in all seriousness, my answer is no," I said, trying to control my anger.

"Okay," he said. A look of disappointment flashed over his face almost too quickly for me to discern it.

"So you'll stop asking me?" I asked, relieved.

"Nope," he announced, a small smile blooming on his face. "I'm going to keep asking you until you say yes. If you want to stay with me, you're just going to have to grin and bear it. Or say yes. That's always an option." His smile, now bright and beatific, lit up his entire face. Like so much about him, it was completely irresistible.

"Edward…"

"Just go with it, Bella. Treat it like yet another thing you're going to have to put up with. I didn't get the duck critter pants. Instead, I'm just going to ask you to marry me from time to time." He pulled me into his arms and kissed me gently. My anger melted away as I melted into his arms. This did not bode well for the future, my inability to stay angry at him. I kissed him again, wondering how much crazy was hidden under that popped collar.

"I think I would rather you wore the duck pants."

Ring courtesy of Tiffany & Co.'s website

Funny, no? And I didn't even tease the lemon but believe me you'll be saying, "Yes," right along with Bella! Read this now. Seriously. Go, take the few minutes it will take to savor this story and I promise you that you will NOT regret it!

And with that, I leave you with the following:



Enjoy!!!